True Love

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine suggested I write about true love. Specifically, what is true love? I haven't written the post because, well, I don't know what to write. So far, my personal experiences with love have led to heartache and heart break. So it is not my personal experiences I will be drawing from for this post, but what I have observed in my life as the truest expressions of love.

The first example is that of my parents. They have shown me how a man should treat a woman, a woman should treat a man, a husband to his wife, and a wife to her husband. Never arguing, always laughing. Caring for each other through everything. I remember we were holding a bridal shower at our house years ago. Mom had just gone through surgery and couldn't do everything like she usually would. No worries. Dad stepped right in and took care of everything. He prepared and served all the food, took care of the garbage, and helped with set up and clean up. My aunts were amazed and said, "Where did you find a guy like that?" True love definitely includes serving your sweetheart and trying to make them as comfortable and happy as you can. But I feel there's so much more than that. One of my favorite things about my parents is how much they laugh when they're together. There's always a joke in my home. Something is always funny. Not all of you will believe this, but my parents never fight. Ever. In fact, it's very common for my dad to say something like, "Momma is my favorite person ever. She's perfect." This is what I have been taught true love is: the willingness to serve the other, sacrifice for them, be there when they need you, make each other laugh, and cherish each other. Love isn't easy, but it's certainly not awful. Love is supposed to be joyous.

Another example is my brother and his wife. They taught me true love will get you through incredible challenges. Like I said earlier, love isn't easy. They certainly had their challenges, but they made it through. Now, when I walk into their home I am overwhelmed with the feeling of love that overcomes me. Learning to trust each other and support each other in everything life throws at you is a lesson of true love they have taught me. Their love has increased exponentially since their sweet baby boy has entered the world. Few things are sweeter than seeing a husband and wife become a father and mother.

The final and greatest example of true love is my Savior, Jesus Christ. Never judging, always encouraging. Always helping and serving. The experiences written in the scriptures certainly teach me of Christ's love for everyone. I mean, he DID atone for our sins and was crucified and resurrected for us. I'd call that love. But never have I felt that love that comes from my Savior more than when I'm in the deepest and darkest places in life, I kneel down, cry, and pray. Just when I feel like I'm completely alone and no one loves me, I feel love wrap around me like it's a fluffy blanket and life doesn't hurt so much anymore.

These examples of true love are what I know I can count on. No matter what. I know my parents love me. They've proven it to me time and time again. I know my brother and his wife love me. They've proven it to me time and time again as well. And I know my Savior loves me. He's proven it to me time and time again. Knowing I have safe places where I will always find love is one of the best feelings in the world.

So what is true love? I hear the only way to know is to find it. And how do you find it? Be the kind of person you want to love and go out and live your life. Don't be afraid to take a risk. What have you got to lose?

The Power of Opportunity

"Even when opportunity knocks, a man still has to get up off his seat and open the door." --Anonymous

I have, placed before me, an incredible opportunity. The opportunity to do (almost) anything I want. Problem is, opportunity is a lot of work! And a lot of disappointment. I suddenly felt like bursting into song... What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone! (Thank you Kelly Clarkson) Once, twice, even multiple times, everyone has this opportunity placed before them. And they always seem to rise to the occassion. What does this tell me? It tells me I can too. I can put everything I have into this opportunity and hope and pray that something awesome comes of it. So, what have I got to lose? I'll put myself out there, open every door I can possibly find, maybe even open some windows, and see what's on the other side. Who knows where this opportunity will take me? Undoubtedly to new, awesome adventures.

So, what about you? What are you going to do when you see opportunity? Are you going to mistake it for a problem? Are you going to see a closed window instead of noticing the five open doors? Or are you going to sieze what is in front of you and make every moment worth living, regardless of your current circumstances? It's up to you. What have you got to lose?

The Daffodils

I wandered lonely as a cloud
    That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
    A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
    And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
    Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
    Outdid the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
    In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
    In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
    Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
("The Daffodils" by William Wordsworth)

When I'm having a particularly rough day, I like to remember this poem. It reminds me to "go to my happy place," as it were, and see the beauty of life, even if it only exists in memory at that particular moment. My happy, quiet place comes from one of my camping trips when I was a teenager. I was always the first one up (always) which gave me some quiet time all to myself. I remember this particular place we were camping had a spectacular vista that showcased a neighboring mountain. As the sun rose, the fog and mist would slowly burn away and the sunlight would drape over the mountain. Soon the birds would start singing and I would breathe deep the smells of an early mountain morning.

That time I had of quiet meditation gave me then, and gives me now, the opportunity to thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with this beautiful world. Life doesn't always go the way I want it to, and it's often filled with trials and heartaches, but when I'm feeling down I can remember those early mountain mornings and find that quiet bliss and feel my heart fill with pleasure and I see once again beauty all around me.

LTS/YOLO

Ah life's too short for wasting
For ifs and might have been's
Life's too short for wondering if
You could have lived your dreams.
-"Share the Darkness" by The Saw Doctors

This past week, tragedy struck my group at church: one of our young ladies passed away. She was 23. This experience has given me cause to reflect. How many times have I had an opportunity to do something or say something or go somewhere and I haven't taken it? How many times have I been too afraid or too lazy or too proud? Life is too short to let opportunities pass us by. After all, you only live once. I'm not saying go out to Vegas and blow your entire savings. Rather, make your life worth living. Make some good friends and spend good, quality time with them. Do something for someone. Remember that post a few weeks ago called I Can be Better? We never know what is going to happen to us. We may live to be 102 years old. We may only live until tomorrow. The young lady that passed away never passed up a chance to help someone in need or make new friends. Let us learn from her example. Make the life you have worth having.

I Can Be Better!

Have you ever told yourself, "I can be better" and then realized you're not sure where to go from that epiphany? I have. A lot! My problem is not identifying ways I can be better (there is a plethora!). My problem is narrowing the seemingly endless list of flaws and shortcomings to one specific trait or quality (or whatever). For the past several months I have found myself at this point: knowing I can be better but not sure exactly what I should do. I believe you become your best self when you are close to Christ, so I have decided to be more involved in church. (I know some of you are wondering if that's even possible. Trust me, it is.) I decided to no longer be as passive a church-goer as I have been and am now actually reading the material we will be covering in church. This immerses me more and more in the words of the scriptures and the prophets which, in turn, brings me closer to Christ.

While this is a good way for me personally to become a better person, it is certainly not the only way. My friend let me borrow Christmas Jars by Jason F. Wright, a wonderful story about a family's willingness to give and the ripple effect it has through their community and beyond. Definitely worth your time. This family's way of becoming better was so simple: every day the family would drop their spare change into a jar and, at the end of a year, they donated it. Look around your house, in your car, your purse, your clothes dryer. I am sure you will find long forgotten (and, sometimes, despised) spare change. Gather it up, put it in a jar, and give it to someone. But give it without fanfare.

If money is not something you are able to part with, try paying it forward or doing a random act of kindness. I have found the more I do for others, the happier I become. Your random act of kindness doesn't have to be huge or monumental. Open a door. Smile at someone. Listen. Do the dishes. Hug your children. Let someone merge on the freeway. Be nice! I am convinced if everyone in the community, city, region, state, country, world (pick your geographic preference) did one nice thing for someone else (perhaps even a stranger) every day, there would be less violence, less misery, and more happiness and kindness. And maybe even a little more allowance for one another's flaws and imperfections.

Looking for a way you can be better? Wondering where to start or what to do? Start here. It is amazing how one nice thing for someone else once a day not only affects them, but how it can affect you too. Sometimes it is almost indescribable. It does not matter what you do or if anyone notices. We may never know the effect our kindness has on others or how far it will reach. The only thing we know is how it makes us feel inside. And that is a feeling I never want to forget. What have you got to lose?

Habits

I'm weird. (Shocked? I didn't think so...) How am I weird this time, you ask? My reading habits. I often hear people comment on how they love cold, rainy days because they're perfect for curling up on the couch in their favorite blanket to read a wonderful book. While that sounds very nice and like it could be in a movie, that's not how I roll. I love reading when it's nice out. I love to lay on my couch without shoes or socks on, have the blinds up and the windows open, feel the slight breeze that comes through the windows, and hear the birds chirping outside. On particularly nice days, I'll grab a pair of sunglasses (the sun on the white pages of a book irritates my eyes...), sit on one of our chairs on the deck or the front porch and enjoy a book while enjoying the wonderful, warm, outside air. Why do I tell you this? The last couple of weeks have been full of perfect reading days.

I just finished reading The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in life and business by Charles Duhigg. Loved it! The author points out that just about everything we do is a habit. When you get dressed, which shoe do you put on first? At some point in your life, it became habit to put on the right shoe first (or left). Three things I learned from this book that I will share with you: the habit loop, craving, and keystone habits. (This stuff is life-changing, trust me.) The habit loop consists of three parts: cue, routine, and reward. The cue is what initiates the habit to start, for instance the alarm clock. The routine is the actual habit itself: rolling out of bed, taking a shower, getting dressed, eating breakfast. The reward is, well, the reward. Perhaps your reward for waking up in the morning is watching your favorite television show before leaving for work. The important thing about the reward is how much you crave it. It's not just enough to know you get to watch television before work. The show you choose to watch has to become something you crave, something your mind thinks about as soon as the alarm clock goes off (whether you know it or not). Thus the importance of the craving. If you don't want it bad enough, you won't be motivated to start the routine once the cue occurs. Finally, keystone habits. These are the habits that have a trickle down effect, direct and indirect. For example, the habit of working out every day. You would enjoy the benefits of health, strength, and endurance. Those are expected and desired. However, there are other benefits one would not link directly to the habit of exercising daily. One of these indirect benefits could be a more productive workday. Here, we start seeing the trickle down effect. A more productive workday can lead to a better day at work which can lead to a better day at home which can lead to a happier spouse and kids which can lead to your kids having better grades in school which can lead to your kids getting into a prestigious university which can lead to your kids becoming the researchers who find a cure to cancer. (Sounds like one of those commercials about the effects of having cable...)

The point is, with this knowledge you can modify your habits. If there is a habit you're not particularly fond of, identify the cue, routine, and reward. Then find the craving that motivates the routine and find another equally effective way to satisfy the craving. Also, take a good, hard look at your habits and see what kind of trickle down effect they may be having. You might find one of your seemingly harmless habits has a negative effect somewhere down the chain.

Now comes the question: what have you got to lose? Are you willing to take the challenge and change your life? It's definitely easier said than done, but this information, if used, is absolutely life-changing.

Ambition, Opportunity, and Working Clothes

Our family recently started taking the newspaper again, which I was thrilled about. I've missed the comics section. I'm going to be totally honest and tell you that's pretty much the only thing I read in the paper. Don't judge. Located close to my beloved comics are the daily horoscopes (another favorite...). The other day, my horoscope read as follows: "You are only ambitious to a degree. You know when you are content, and you stop there. That's a gift. So many people suffer because they can't recognize when enough is enough." Part of me is... Offended really isn't quite the word I'm looking for. Put off, I think would more accurately describe my feelings. I was a little put off about what I read. Ambitious to a degree? No, no. I'm young, educated, motivated. I mean, I'm helping my brother with his business and looking at different ways I can help bring more money in for other small businesses. I'm an entrepreneur! I have ambition! But then I thought about it. I am educated, but only to a point. I could go back to school for another bachelor's degree or even a master's degree. But I don't. I'm satisfied with my level of formal education right now. Is this a gift? I'm certainly glad I don't push myself to the point of total exhaustion physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, I wonder if I get stuck in my contentedness (is that even a word?). Can I switch my ambition on and off? Am I able to say "Ok, I'm happy here with what I have" and have my ambition turn off until such time as I decide "You know, I'm not as happy as I used to be. It's time to change something"?

I do see merit in my horoscope in one facet of my life, however. Eating. Yes, eating. I can be quite ambitious as I fill my plate. As the meal draws on I can sense when I'm content with what I've eaten and I can stop, even if food is still on my plate. That is a gift. Not everyone has it and often people suffer with gastronomic pains because they can't tell when enough is enough. So I guess being ambitious to a degree really isn't so bad all the time.

Another gem I came across in the newspaper (yes, this was close to the comics too...) stated, "A problem is opportunity in working clothes." Love this! So many times I see a problem and interpret it as a roadblock. My life would be so much more fulfilling if I changed my thought process for interpreting problems and roadblocks and instead viewed them as opportunity. The hard part about that is the working clothes. It is much easier to just sit and either wait for the problem to go away on its own or wait for someone else to take care of it. Work is hard! But I know I feel so much more accomplished, confident, and proud of myself when I put the work in to complete a task. I feel so much better about myself and about life when I am able to face a problem head-on and overcome it. There are a lot of books that talk about opportunities lost and opportunities taken. Two of my favorites are The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. If you haven't read these books, I encourage you to do so. They contain wonderful lessons for everyone no matter where you are in your life journey.

So, brush yourself off, find your ambition, face your problems, and work hard to turn them into once-in-a-lifetime opportunities! What have you got to lose?

Find Your Fire

"'Everyone needs to find the one thing that brings out her passion. It's what we do and share with the world that matters...far too many people die with a heart that's gone flat with indifference, and it surely must be a terrible way to go. Life will offer us amazing opportunities, but we've got to be wide-awake to recognize them...If there's one thing I'd like most for you, it's that you'll find your calling in life. That's where true happiness and purpose lies. Whether it's taking care of abandoned animals, saving old houses from the wreckin' ball, or reading to the blind, you've got to find your fire, sugar. You'll never be fulfilled if you don't.'
'But how will I know what my fire is?'
'Oh, you'll know. One day you'll do something, see something, or get an idea that seems to pop up from nowhere. And you'll feel a kind of stirring--like a warm flicker inside your chest. When that happens, whatever you do, don't ignore it. Open your mind and explore the idea. Fan your flame. And when you do, you'll have found it.'" -Aunt Tootie and Cecilia Rose from Beth Hoffman's Saving CeeCee Honeycutt

This weekend I was at a friend's house and I asked her what she really enjoyed doing, what really made her happy. After thinking for a moment, she gave me her answer (it was exercising and making people feel good). As I often do, I turned the question on myself. What do I really enjoy doing? What really makes me happy? To put it in the words of Aunt Tootie, what is my fire? Honestly, I'm not sure I know. There are things I enjoy doing. I enjoy exercising. I enjoy reading. I enjoy dancing. I enjoy eating. I enjoy baking. There are two things I would say I love doing: teaching and listening to people.

Let's address the second one first. Listening to people may be considered an odd activity to enjoy but I love hearing what people have to say. You can find out all sorts of things if you just close your mouth and open your ears. It's fascinating to find out what makes people tick, what bothers them, what their hopes and dreams are. I often find out a lot about myself, too. And every once-in-a-while I get the opportunity to help someone.

Teaching. Why do I love to teach? I get to help people learn and understand something they didn't know before. My dad used to tell me you know you've learned something when you can effectively and correctly teach it. Teaching is a way for me to prove to myself I've learned something and that is very fulfilling. By no means am I a trained, educated teacher. I'm not in public or private schools educating the young. I do, however, get to teach occasionally at church and sometimes I teach Zumba at my local gym. I love it!

But are teaching and listening my fire? Do I wake up every morning and fall asleep every night thinking about them? Not really. I echo CeeCee Honeycutt's words: "What my fire was, I didn't know. But I promised myself that I'd find out." After all, what have I got to lose?

Have you found your fire? What is it?

Feel the Burn!

About a year ago, I started getting into exercising much more seriously than I have before. So serious that I actually joined a gym and have gone three times a week pretty much every week since. I even became a fitness instructor! What got me into exercising you ask? ZUMBA!!! I went to my first class as a support system for my sister-in-law and I never looked back. Eventually, Zumba wasn't enough. I wanted to challenge myself more. My friend told me he was doing the Insanity workout program and I thought to myself, "Sounds awesome!" (What was I thinking?!) It actually has been quite awesome. My endurance is up, my muscle strength is up, my exhaustion level is up. It has totally been worth it.

But, again, that just hasn't been enough. One of my friends at the gym told me she signed up for a race and somehow convinced me to do the same. I am now signed up to participate in the 2012 Run Amuck. It's 3.5 miles through Quantico Marine Corps Base and includes various obstacles such as a tire run, an A-frame wall, mud pits, and a fire hose. I'm actually really, really excited about this race. There's only one problem: I'm not a runner. I have not been able to run a mile since elementary school. The last time I did any type of running was about 8 months ago in the form of a 5K. I walked a majority of it. However, knowing I was signed up for this race, I figured I should get a baseline in my running ability so I can gauge my progress while preparing for this race. Shock of all shocks, I ran a 15 minute mile today! Even better, if I wasn't in a time crunch I could have run EVEN MORE!!! This was a huge milestone for me! (Pun absolutely intended...)

Bottom line: Exercising more has made me feel better and is now allowing me to do things I never thought I'd ever be able to do. I never thought I'd be able to survive Insanity (I still have another month to go...). I also never thought I'd be able to run and enjoy it! Who knows what's in store for me in the future? What have I got to lose?

What Have I Got to Lose?

So here I find myself, 10:30 pm on a Thursday wondering what the heck I'm doing with my life. And then I think to myself, "Start a blog! Why not? Everyone else is doing it!" Because that's a logical reason. What will I post? Who knows! Maybe something about my somewhat recent and kind of insane interest in exercising. Maybe my frustrations with trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. No, I know what I want to do with my life. I just haven't figured out how to make it all happen yet.

I'd like to say my life is exciting. As a vibrant, young 20-something, you'd think it would be. And, dog-gone-it, why shouldn't it be? I watched the end of "Yes Man" the other night and it got me thinking... How exciting would life be if we said "Yes" a little more often? Not as recklessly as Jim Carrey's character, but within reason. One of the best experiences I've ever had was brought on by a momentary lapse of judgment when I was asked if I wanted to go skydiving. "Sure!" I said. The closer we got to the drop zone, the more nervous I got. And when we couldn't jump, I thought I was going to explode! All that for nothing but shot nerves! I decided not to change my mind about the whole thing and when we finally got to jump out of that plane (after constantly wondering what was wrong with me) it was awesome! Definitely an experience I would never trade and one I have repeated and want to continue to repeat. Why not say yes? Open up to new experiences!

Maybe that's why I started this blog. You never know what can happen. So I ask myself, "What have I got to lose?"